A wedding is a social (and financial) event of a life
time. Ask our daughters. Years were
spent pouring over the latest Brides magazines, watching Bride reality tv and
scanning the internet—to discover in 2011, the average wedding budget (not
including honeymoon) was $27021. When a
friend recently informed us of his daughter’s engagement, my husband gingerly
whispered “Let the money hemorrhage begin.”
To which our friend replied, “I’ve already been advised by
my wife, we call those “bridal satisfaction units.”
Every father in law reading this winces because it is
true. However, in his penny grabbing
heart, weighing the entire package, the expense is justified. When the last toast is given and the merry
couple rides off in the rented limo, a father realizes the cost of a wedding is
a small price to pay for the life lasting memories it created.
At a wedding, relatives gather together who have been apart
for decades, childhood tales are relived; laughter, tears, and a sense of belonging
encompass the entire community. Beyond
the ceremony, the details of guest housing, transportation, meals and invitees
all culminate in addition to the marriage, to a crescendo of family.
A funeral is also a social (and financial) event of a
lifetime. Like a wedding, it requires special
clothing, flowers, food, ceremony, music, a guest list, ushers and officiator. It requires the hosting of out of town friends
and family. But unlike a wedding, most
funerals have an average 72 hours to prepare, all under the duress of
grief.
Mourning spouses scramble to put together a list to contact
extended family and friends, fearing a name might be overlooked. The deceased’s home is flooded with calls
questioning arrangements for out of town guests. Children struggle to make a decision on what
to do with their parent’s remains and the costs of premium caskets verses
standard ones. (Whose going to put their
dad in a standard casket even it if means maxing out an already stressed
Mastercard?)
Like a wedding, a funeral mercilessly tugs on heart strings
and purse strings. But unlike a wedding, every minute of indecision is 1 minute
closer to the 72 hour deadline. This, coupled with the waves of loss and grief
rob most funerals from reaching their full potential and purpose to honor and
celebrate a life and adequately host the extended community. Money is thrown at the event, but it rarely
results in a satisfied heart that what was produced was well worth it.
When do you begin to prepare for a social event of a
lifetime---especially when only heaven knows the month/day/year for the “Save
the Date? Are there steps that can be
taken now to provide you and your loved ones tools and resources that can
insure your final gathering is as rich and full of life as the rest of your
days?
Hello, MyGoodbye.com. A
place to plan your final farewell for those you hold dear. Because saying
goodbye is worth saying well. By making
the effort today to record your final wishes you insure your final goodbye will
indeed be the social event of a lifetime.
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