Where to Bury Mary?

One hundred years ago the answer was very simple.  You placed her next to Winthrop, her husband of 49 years in the family plot of the congregational cemetery, facing east. And with one shift of the eye, you could trace her family line: grandparents, aunts, uncles, and untimely nephews all neatly lined awaiting Gabriel’s trumpet blast to call their resting remains upward.

Unfortunately, today’s Mary has been married twice, lived on both coasts and has two sets of parents and children from three relationships.  So deciding where her remains settle can be a daunting task for those who survive her. 

The shift in modern lifestyle has not negated the need for appropriate avenues to honor a life and express grief over the loss common to our predecessors. However, no longer can this service tradition be assumed.  Careful forethought and communication to address the inevitable is required.  The conversation needs to start NOW, to protect those who survive Mary, and her life-legacy from the hurt feelings and bruised relationships which are inevitable if the decisions are postponed until Mary has no voice.

What does Mary want?  What would be realistic for family to participate in?  If Mary has lived her entire adult life in Los Angeles, even though her family home is Coffeeville Kansas, should the family incur the expense to ship her back home to Kansas, or choose a plot in California? 

But how do you start the conversation?  What needs to be covered?  Do I need to go to a funeral home to do so? 

Mygoodbye.com provides a place to begin the dialogue. With an easy to follow format you can plan your final farewell and store your wishes in a secure, readily accessible account that will be there to answer questions when you are not.  

Where to bury Mary?  That’s easy.  She wanted to be cremated, with a simple memorial service for friends and family followed by a meal at her favorite restaurant.

Thank you, My Goodbye.

Shirley walker is the President of www.MyGoodbye.com