Monday, May 21, 2012

Breaking the Silence









When a friend or family member has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, the first thing on everyone’s mind is often the last thing on their lips.  No one wants to face the inevitable; all their energy is focused on the possible.

Somehow, some way, we will beat the odds and overcome the doctor’s prognosis.  To discuss end of life issues, the planning of a funeral or memorial service appears to all as a white flag of surrender.  Who can swallow death and chemotherapy at the same time?  It takes a tremendous amount of belief and courage to subject oneself to radiation, surgery or chemotherapy in the hope such torture will in fact, be worth it. 

A trip to a funeral home or the reading of a casket brochure sends a message worse than the emptying bleachers at a run away basketball game.

Cynthia Ferris, an active part of her church’s benevolence ministry reiterates this point. “Time and again, we are scrambling to put together a funeral for a family who has lost a loved one to an extended illness.  The family has not made any plans, because they did not want to discourage their relative.  Many times, they were already at the point of exhaustion caring for their patient. They have no reserves from which to draw to now plan a funeral.”

Yet, dialogue is not only necessary, but beneficial.  Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University faced his terminal illness by writing a book about living.  Although he died of pancreatic cancer in July of 2008, after a nearly 2 year battle with the disease, his written and spoken words continue to impact thousands. 

MyGoodbye.com provides tools and resources which can help an individual articulate their wishes and express their final thoughts without signaling surrender.  For the patient who finds his loved ones unwilling to broach the subject, an individual with internet access may go to the site in the privacy of their own room and find a guide to lead them through end of life decisions and provide them with a secure place to store their final words to loved ones, favorite photos and video. 

For the caregiver desiring to start the conversation, MyGoodbye.com provides a less threatening initial point of reference, as its easy accessibility and low maintenance profile make it a feature anyone old enough to die---which includes all of us, should take advantage of.  “I discovered this site online, which makes planning for end of life issues easy to do, and it allows you to leave final words for those you love.  I decided I would use it, and I thought you might to look at it too. This is not at all to say that I have thrown in the towel in regards to your recovery. I haven’t. But I think this exercise could actually provide you with a greater sense of rest, knowing that end of life decisions have been dealt with.” 

How do you break the silence and begin the necessary dialogue?

Welcome MyGoodbye.com: gently guiding each of us to embrace all of our days with wisdom and purpose.

Find out how to leave your legacy  at www.MyGoodbye.com  



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