Choosing a Funeral Home with Muneerah Warner

Finding the right Funeral Home can be a challenge, but well worth the effort. Planning ahead makes this search feasible.  We had the privilege to interview Muneerah Warner, the vivacious founder of FuneralDivas Inc. regarding this process. A notable expert in the funeral industry as the editor-in-chief of Funerals Today Magazine and the former owner of the Warner Funeral Home in Philadelphia, PA, Muneerah brings sound advice to help you in your search.

Are there questions which could be asked over the phone by a family that could help them narrow the field?

Yes, if a family is not familiar with the funeral establishment here are few questions that you should ask…

1.          What is the estimated price of the funeral? – so there will be no surprises. Remember the lowest price isn’t always the best option.

2.         What kind of services do you provide? A good funeral home should offer a variety of services for you to choose from.

3.         What day of service do you have available? Some smaller funeral homes may be booked for the day you desire to have your loved ones services and some funeral homes may not operate on weekends.

4.         What vehicles will be used during my loved ones services? Some families prefer certain makes, models or colors. Be sure they can provide what you need.

Is a visit to the funeral home a necessary first step?

If you are already familiar with the facility or if you are referred by a friend then a visit is not a necessary first step. For families that are not familiar with the funeral home a visit is of the utmost importance because you get to meet with staff and see if the facility will suit the needs of your loved ones funeral. You learn a lot when visiting a funeral home. If the staff is friendly, funeral homes is neat, the chapel is large enough and they produce quality work on the deceased then you know that you are in a pretty good funeral home.

What are warning sign that this may not be the right place to consider?

Making a decision about choosing a funeral home can be hard especially while grieving. Families should make decisions just like they make decisions about other areas life. If things don’t look right, smell right or seem right then they aren’t right! If you can’t understand what the funeral director is explaining to you avoid using that firm. A lot of families think their misunderstanding of products or services offered by a funeral home come from their lack of knowledge about the funeral industry when in fact it can come from deceptive practices. I believe that most funeral directors are honest however it is possible to run into a bad one occasionally.

Do you think it is important to request a woman director?

Choosing a woman as your funeral director can be important depending on what the family needs. If a family wants direct cremation with no memorial service they should be able to choose any reliable funeral director. However, women naturally add a special touch the funeral service of their loved one. Most families may never know this if they’ve never had a woman as a funeral director.

The job of a funeral director is very rewarding and beneficial to families that have experienced a loss. Great funeral directors are everywhere and the process of planning a funeral is not hard when you are well informed.

Thank you, Muneerah for taking the time to provide us with sound advice regarding choosing a funeral home. We commend you in your efforts to empower and encourage women in the funeral service industry.

Find Muneerah Warner at www.funeraldivas.com

For more ideas on saying the Goodbye of a lifetime, visit us at www.MyGoodbye.com   

Breaking the Silence

When a friend or family member has been diagnosed with a terminal illness, the first thing on everyone’s mind is often the last thing on their lips.  No one wants to face the inevitable; all their energy is focused on the possible.

Somehow, some way, we will beat the odds and overcome the doctor’s prognosis.  To discuss end of life issues, the planning of a funeral or memorial service appears to all as a white flag of surrender.  Who can swallow death and chemotherapy at the same time?  It takes a tremendous amount of belief and courage to subject oneself to radiation, surgery or chemotherapy in the hope such torture will in fact, be worth it. 

A trip to a funeral home or the reading of a casket brochure sends a message worse than the emptying bleachers at a run away basketball game.

Cynthia Ferris, an active part of her church’s benevolence ministry reiterates this point. “Time and again, we are scrambling to put together a funeral for a family who has lost a loved one to an extended illness.  The family has not made any plans, because they did not want to discourage their relative.  Many times, they were already at the point of exhaustion caring for their patient. They have no reserves from which to draw to now plan a funeral.”

Yet, dialogue is not only necessary, but beneficial.  Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University faced his terminal illness by writing a book about living.  Although he died of pancreatic cancer in July of 2008, after a nearly 2 year battle with the disease, his written and spoken words continue to impact thousands. 

MyGoodbye.com provides tools and resources which can help an individual articulate their wishes and express their final thoughts without signaling surrender.  For the patient who finds his loved ones unwilling to broach the subject, an individual with internet access may go to the site in the privacy of their own room and find a guide to lead them through end of life decisions and provide them with a secure place to store their final words to loved ones, favorite photos and video. 

For the caregiver desiring to start the conversation, MyGoodbye.com provides a less threatening initial point of reference, as its easy accessibility and low maintenance profile make it a feature anyone old enough to die---which includes all of us, should take advantage of.  “I discovered this site online, which makes planning for end of life issues easy to do, and it allows you to leave final words for those you love.  I decided I would use it, and I thought you might to look at it too. This is not at all to say that I have thrown in the towel in regards to your recovery. I haven’t. But I think this exercise could actually provide you with a greater sense of rest, knowing that end of life decisions have been dealt with.” 

How do you break the silence and begin the necessary dialogue?

Welcome MyGoodbye.com: gently guiding each of us to embrace all of our days with wisdom and purpose.

Find out how to leave your legacy  at www.MyGoodbye.com  

Marryin', Buryin' and $$$$

A wedding is a social (and financial) event of a life time.  Ask our daughters. Years were spent pouring over the latest Brides magazines, watching Bride reality tv and scanning the internet—to discover in 2011, the average wedding budget (not including honeymoon) was $27021.  When a friend recently informed us of his daughter’s engagement, my husband gingerly whispered “Let the money hemorrhage begin.”

To which our friend replied, “I’ve already been advised by my wife, we call those “bridal satisfaction units.”

Every father in law reading this winces because it is true.  However, in his penny grabbing heart, weighing the entire package, the expense is justified.  When the last toast is given and the merry couple rides off in the rented limo, a father realizes the cost of a wedding is a small price to pay for the life lasting memories it created.

At a wedding, relatives gather together who have been apart for decades, childhood tales are relived; laughter, tears, and a sense of belonging encompass the entire community.  Beyond the ceremony, the details of guest housing, transportation, meals and invitees all culminate in addition to the marriage, to a crescendo of family.

A funeral is also a social (and financial) event of a lifetime.  Like a wedding, it requires special clothing, flowers, food, ceremony, music, a guest list, ushers and officiator.  It requires the hosting of out of town friends and family.  But unlike a wedding, most funerals have an average 72 hours to prepare, all under the duress of grief. 

Mourning spouses scramble to put together a list to contact extended family and friends, fearing a name might be overlooked.  The deceased’s home is flooded with calls questioning arrangements for out of town guests.  Children struggle to make a decision on what to do with their parent’s remains and the costs of premium caskets verses standard ones.  (Whose going to put their dad in a standard casket even it if means maxing out an already stressed Mastercard?)

Like a wedding, a funeral mercilessly tugs on heart strings and purse strings. But unlike a wedding, every minute of indecision is 1 minute closer to the 72 hour deadline. This, coupled with the waves of loss and grief rob most funerals from reaching their full potential and purpose to honor and celebrate a life and adequately host the extended community.  Money is thrown at the event, but it rarely results in a satisfied heart that what was produced was well worth it.

When do you begin to prepare for a social event of a lifetime---especially when only heaven knows the month/day/year for the “Save the Date?  Are there steps that can be taken now to provide you and your loved ones tools and resources that can insure your final gathering is as rich and full of life as the rest of your days?

Hello, MyGoodbye.com.  A place to plan your final farewell for those you hold dear. Because saying goodbye is worth saying well.  By making the effort today to record your final wishes you insure your final goodbye will indeed be the social event of a lifetime.

Visit MyGoodbye.com